Well, yesterday was supposed to be the unveiling of the new billboard. I'm not sure why I felt the need to drive over there and see it. I really don't know why I felt the need to go alone. I had actually forgot that it was supposed to be up until about three o'clock. I was trying to talk myself out of driving all the way over there, just to see something that I had already seen. This may sound strange, but it was as if this may make it more real. I know that sounds ridiculous considering I have sat and heard the same words from four medical professionals "There is no doubt in my mind, you have Parkinson's disease." I have replayed each one of the doctors, time and again saying those words, yet somehow it just doesn't seem real at times. Yes, my body knows that something is terribly wrong, but couldn't it be something else? Something that can be treated? Something that there is a cure for?
The drive over there was actually quite nice. I didn't have to be anywhere at any certain time, and really took time to look around a bit. Well, until I realized I was driving like an old man in the left lane doing about 35 in a 55. Ooops, sorry to the traffic I held up for about two miles, but there were things that I had never taken the time to notice. I had just gotten on to Knoxville, now keep in mind I drove this rode for two years everyday, and came upon a building I had never seen. I passed this building everyday for two years and never even knew it existed. Then of course, I began to wonder if my whole life is like that. Do we become so focused on certain things, that we loose sight of everything and everyone else? This was a building people, a big fucking brick building that had been there for years and I had never noticed it. How many other things in life do we just ignore, turn a blind eye to, overlook, tune out or simply take no notice of? I know I am rambling about a silly ass, fifty year old building, but I couldn't get over the fact that I had never noticed it before. I made a vow to myself to start paying attention, not while driving, but in life. Sounds corny, but how many things have we all let slip right by us because we are so self absorbed that we forget about others?
As I got closer to the location, it began raining harder. My first thought was that I'd never get a good picture in the rain. My second thought was that people would be staring at the well nourished girl standing in the rain to take a picture of a billboard. I was determined to sit til the rain let up a bit, I had came this far to see a silly billboard, I wasn't turning back now. I came up on the intersection and it was really busy. I had to do a U turn to see it properly. There it was, an advertisement for Carlos O'Kelly's. Apparently the deadline was not met. I would have to wait another day and burn some more 4 dollar a gallon gas to see myself blown up about 12 times my normal size. It wasn't a wasted trip. I had learned a few things on my little drive. I am going to slow down, not that I have much of a choice anyway. If I walk to fast my right foot gets a bit confused and I end up belly flopping, but really slow down and take time to notice small things.
Small things like, brownies and apple cheesecake. I couldn't justify burning all that gas and having nothing to show for it. So, a few blocks south and I ended up here, at the Le Bakery. Twelve dollars later, I headed home in the rain, thinking about small things, like a glass of milk to go with the cheesecake.
Today has been a good day.
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