Things that go thump in the waiting room

If this shirt would have found its way to my closet, it would have been what I chose to wear today.  Please, if you are offended by F bombs or complete negativity, please check back tomorrow for a feel good post.  This is not one of those kind of days.  I did however, have success in finding the proper foot apparel for sleeping.  It is rather simple actually but the sole is hard and flat and the top has velcro strips which allows me to tighten it over the top of my foot. This may be the only thing that was positive about the entire day.

Now, I know everyday is not going to begin with birds chirping and rays of sunshine beaming in the windows, but I honestly felt as though there was a black fog over my bed this morning.  I have learned a thing or two about making my mornings easier.  I now set my alarm for thirty minutes before I need to get up.  When the alarm sounds, I take my first little yellow fellow before my feet hit the floor.  This  thirty minutes allows me to actually walk to the shower, rather then feeling as though I am dragging half my body beside me. Well, this works wonders if you remember to set your alarm.  I did however manage to get out the door in time for work.   Things were a bit slow at work this morning, which was probably a good thing.  I just wasn't feeling great.  I took a few minutes to look at a few websites about this wonderful disease I have and everything  I came across let me know what I was feeling was normal.  Well, normal for a Parkinsons patient. 

Anyway, this afternoon I headed to the hospital to be with my uncle.  He was having a procedure done, and I was waiting in a room with about 15 other people.  I was told someone would come and get me when it was complete.  As I sat there, I happened to look up to see them pushing him down the hall.  I jumped up to  follow, when my right leg thought it was still time to sit a bit.  The next thing I know I have done almost a perfect belly flop, minus the water of course.  Now this was fucking embarrassing. 

I could feel everyone staring and heard someone say "that poor thing".  I jumped up grabbed my things and shuffled out as quickly as I could.  The hallway seemed miles long.  I could hear that woman's voice in my head again "that poor thing".   I had to stop and compose myself  before I seen anyone.   At that moment something entered my head that I never wanted to think.  WHY ME?   Is this the way things are going to be?   I didn't like that woman's pity, but I was beginning to feel it for myself.   I just couldn't help it, I lost it., right there in a dingy colored hallway that smelled like ass. I stood  sobbing like someone who had just seen there prom date leaving with the prom queen.  I don't think I will ever forget how I felt at that particular moment.  It hit me, hard.  These are the fucking cards I have been dealt.  In this game you get no other cards and folding isn't an option.  Sorry, this has not been a good day.